At Home Activities - 21 Ideas

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Here are some additional ideas for encouraging children to think about race, gender, and class messages in their everyday lives.

  1. When you are at the video store looking for a movie to rent, look for films that encourage flexible gender ideas and respectful portrayals in terms of race. For example, try renting three different versions of Cinderella. There is the classic, original Disney animated version, there is a live action version starring Brandy and Whitney Houston, and another version titled Everafter. After watching the films, discuss the differences in behaviors and attitudes of the characters in the three versions. You can also ask your child about the implicit messages of race and class across the different versions.
  2. The next time you are at McDonald’s ordering a Happy Meal for your child, when the employee asks, “Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” encourage your child to take the toy he or she wants to play with, rather than the one he or she is expected to play with.
  3. When you are shopping at a toy store, engage your children in discussion about the characteristics of the toys in the store. Notice how the store is divided into a girl area and a boy area. The girl area is filled with domestic toys (kitchen appliances and vacuums), nurturing toys (dolls and stuffed animals), and self-improvement toys (make-up and nail kits). The boy area is filled with action figures, violence-oriented toys, and mechanical toys. Also, make your child aware of ethnicity as it relates to toys, such as the color of the dolls’ skin, who is represented most and who is represented least as an ethnicity. Ask your child in what ways are these messages limiting, and send him or her in search of less restrictive toys.
  4. When you are waiting in line at the grocery store, ask children what they notice about magazine covers. Are all body types, ages, races, and ethnicities celebrated, or is only one body type considered beautiful? Ask the children if they know anyone who looks like the people on the covers of these magazines. Explain that airbrushing is used to make these models look this way. What does it mean to be hyper-masculine or hyper-feminine? Why are there so many bride magazines and no groom magazines? Point out magazines that offer alternative messages rather than self-improvement, such as enjoying the outdoors.
  5. Rejoice in your wrinkles and gray hairs, rather than self-criticize. Kids internalize the messages they hear about body acceptance. When you work out, talk about it as being important to your health, not looks. If you wear make-up or use other similar products, tell your children it is something you enjoy doing because it helps emphasize your unique, natural features, not something you do to cover up imperfections.
  6. When it comes to discussing varying careers, use language that is inclusive of both genders. For example, firefighter, mail carrier, and police officer are all gender neutral terms. Choose a diverse representation of service professionals, especially those in non-traditional careers. There can be male secretaries or female mechanics, for example.
  7. When boys are crying, avoid saying, “You’re okay; you’re not hurt.” This message is confusing to a boy who is hurting. Openly acknowledge the limiting societal messages boys receive in terms of emotional expression. Help boys rebel against this gender expectation and reward them for recognizing their emotions and being willing to share them with you.
  8. Openly acknowledge the limiting societal messages girls receive concerning science and math abilities. Encourage girls to work with computers, technology, and machinery. Expose them to female role models in a variety of careers and mentor them to explore all of their career possibilities. Also, discuss what it takes to balance work and family in terms of employer support and equal partnership at home for both men and women.
  9. When telling stories or singing songs, try substituting texts to challenge and point out stereotypes. This can be a fun way to look at gender patterns in classic stories and rhymes, and to show how still today these patterns are common. For example, the farmer can take a husband and the husband can take a child, Old MacDonald can be a woman, the three little pigs might be sisters and build a house, and Mr. Muffet can be afraid of a spider. Another suggestion is to provide alternate, contemporary stories that offer less stereotypic messages.
  10. When assigning household chores, try developing a system where jobs are changed among family members weekly or monthly. Demonstrating that chores are divided equally are not rigidly based on gender is an important lesson. Boys will need to know how to cook and do their own laundry, just as girls will need to know how to pay bills and do home repair. When children begin to express interest in doing work for pay outside the home, suggest a wide range of ideas for both boys and girls, such as babysitting, lawn care, or a paper route.
  11. When you play card games, have the queen be higher than the king in the hierarchy of the deck every other game. Or, to demonstrate equality, make the king and queen represent equal value, requiring a playoff. This can be a light-hearted way to overturn gender hierarchy.
  12. When children have to write a report for school, encourage a project about a famous female scientist or a well-known male peace advocate. This is a great opportunity to help children learn about famous people from a variety of cultural backgrounds who are not well represented in traditional history books. This is also a great way for children to study famous people in history with specific limitations.
  13. Encourage children to participate in a variety of extracurricular activities. Persuade both boys and girls to take a cooking class, play any sport, learn a musical instrument, join the student council, or take a dance class.
  14. The lyrics in songs send messages to all of us about gender, love, relationships, and race relations. When listening to the radio in the car, encourage your child to analyze the words in the song. Ask what kind of limiting or encouraging messages we receive about these issues. Music can offer children (especially adolescents) a way to express their feelings and thoughts. Encourage music that is in line with their values.
  15. Have fun celebrating the holidays with representation of both male and female images, such as a visit by Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Widen the lens of ethnicity when discussing these images. Also, take part in celebrations from a variety of cultures as a way to honor and learn about religious tolerance and ethnic diversity. Have all members of the family take responsibility in organizing and planning the success of holidays.
  16. Make a game out of observing race and gender inequalities in our everyday lives. Who is represented on the U.S. currency? Which skin tones are referred to as “flesh tone” on bandages? Who is represented on food labels, such as soup or cereal? On which holidays are schools and places of work closed? Try to keep track of which cities represent a broad variety of citizens in their street signs, and which ones are sensitive to special needs.
  17. When strolling through the mall, notice the clothes specifically designed for girls (e.g., low rise jeans, tight blouses) and the clothes specifically designed for boys (e.g., baggy pants, athletic shirts). Ask your children what they think of the gender messages they receive about what clothes they are expected to wear. Also, keep an eye on how clothes are advertised based on ethnicity.
  18. When viewing sports on television or attending sporting events, give equal time to female teams. Help your children cheer for both men’s and women’s sports if athletics are a main interest of theirs. Also, attend sporting events that honor all abilities, such as the Special Olympics.
  19. Get kids involved in community service on a regular basis! Serving their community sends several important messages to children. They learn that they can make a difference, they become more sensitive to inequalities such as poverty, and they gain experience addressing difficult problems creatively.
  20. Encourage lots of time outdoors enjoying nature. Appreciating the great outdoors can help children develop and nurture the sensitive and strong aspects of themselves.
  21. Ask your local librarian, your child’s teacher, or a fellow parent about videos, books, and music that promote positive messages for children. There are so many poor role models in the media that it can be overwhelming to find messages about fairness, equality and respect. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!